Dear Xyla,

I’m 24 and I don’t know if I’m over reacting since I’m jealous of my boyfriend’s female co-workers. I can guarantee my boyfriend’s faithfulness though, that he loves me and that he’ll never cheat on me, we’ve been together for 2 years and fortunately we really never had a problem when it comes to infidelity. 

The problem comes in where I just don’t approve of him being “too close” to the point of being “too comfortable” with regards to his personal space (ex. One time he carried/lift his female co-worker just because he missed her and found her cute like a kid)… yah however lame his excuse was and unnecessary thing to do, I know it was the truth though and I trust that the lifting gesture towards the girl was really harmless. He knows that I’m the jealous type and is always aware of his limitations especially around girls like no too touchy-feely, except only for this recent incident.

But now this being “too comfortable” thing lead me to another fear imagining things like what if some emotional attachment is suddenly created? He’s always at work so obviously, he always gets to spend more time with his team/co-workers (with a female majority). They say that people who are always together can most likely develop. I don’t want to entertain anymore thoughts because the mere fact that he can just be touchy with a female worker is a step closer for an emotional attachment. :(

I may be overreacting but I just think that displaying “intimate” affections with just anybody else is really inappropriate and unnecessary, since things like this should be reserved for two special private individuals. 

He has said sorry already though and promised never to that any kind of affection again. But oh well I still can’t get over the issue and jump into conclusions. =(

How do I handle this jealousy? I’m getting paranoid. I don’t know what to do..=( Thank you Xyla.

Love,
Kitchie

Hi Kitchie! I think you asked the wrong person. HAHA! I’m also a jealous girlfriend. I tend to get paranoid from time to time. And I’m not really sure if I could help you with this but this is what I did:

• Pray and ask God for strength and guidance
• Talk to the boyfriend and tell him how you feel about this situation. 
• Write him a letter
• Re-build your self-confidence and self-esteem. Sometimes, the reason why we get paranoid is because we lose the self-esteem that we used to have. We tend to overreact which sometimes causes us to create drama in our minds but the truth is there’s really is nothing going wrong. This jealousy then ruins the relationship. You need to tell yourself that everything is alright to keep you from getting jealous and paranoid.
• Be optimistic.
• Guard your heart. Prepare yourself.
• Do sweet things for him every now and then. He will definitely look for your lambing.